So I went away to work again. Beautiful New Haven, CT.
Actually, it is pretty beautiful. The university is gorgeous. During the beautiful days last week I walked through the campus and felt homesick for my little college on the hill. For the familiarity it used to offer. Every year in the fall I feel like I should be going back. I wonder how long that will last?
Now it's raining. The remnants of some other hurricane. This one with a non-gender-specific name I think. I'm in my very spacious and light filled apartment watching "Ghost Hunters" (total coincidence, I swear. I actually don't think I've watched Ghost Hunters in weeks). It's raining and I'm homesick for my actual home. Bean is doing a puddle walk with our wonderful babysitter. I'm about to go and get some new slippers for the third act.
Doing the play again after three months feels a bit like putting on a pair of well-worn slippers. Or better, like putting on a favorite pair of jeans after the summer. Just having something covering your legs feels kind of weird. And kind of comforting. And the shirt you wore with it last Spring isn't quite right. And you need to rethink that belt. But it's familiar. Welcome. Some rehearsals it feels like we did our last performance in Berkeley 45 minutes ago, and other days it feels like we never did it at all. The play remains so inscrutable in so many ways. Moments that I finally just took a deep breath and swam through, trusting they'd make some kind of sense...those moments can be reexamined. Should be reexamined. Are excruciating to reexamine.
And so I gotta go try on those slippers.