Ghost Hunters and Confessions of a Teetotaler

I am a teetotaler. I do not even know if I spelled that right. But I am.

Not really by design. My parents don't drink. I am not entirely sure why. I think perhaps my mom doesn't drink because she thinks it's evil and my dad doesn't drink because he knows it's evil.

I'm pretty sure I believed both when I was in high school and college and was very holier and way smarter than thou. Also way more boyfriend-less than thou so take that whole smarter thing as you will.

I still don't drink a lot. I like girly foofy beverages that taste like juice or coffee ice cream. Red wine gives me a headache...sorry Dr. Oz.

And I have never played a drinking game...

Until now.

Now, my husband and I have invented the "Ghost Hunters" drinking game. Here is how it goes.

1. Buy some drink that is tolerable to the wife who hates beer. I.E. Smirnoff Ice or Wine Coolers or Ginger Ale with Peach Schnapps (look, I make no claims to be that girl from Indiana Jones who could drink fat guys under the table, except in that I can kick your ass and I'm a good kisser).
2. Tune in to "Ghost Hunters" on the Sci Fi Channel. It is in no way as good as it was when Brian was around. He was such a screw-up that the entertainment value of that alone was worth it. Also ever since Grant pulled a fast one in the whole Halloween Episode Jacket Tug thing I have had something of a falling-out with the show. Not enough to stop watching. Just enough to say to myself, "Ok, maybe they are good actors."
3. Drink at the following moments, and any others that you find to be appropriate:

• Any time the following terms are spoken by any of the TAPS Team: EMF, K2 Meter, EVP, Thermal Sweep, Full-Bodied Apparition
  
• Any time that Steve says "Go for Steve" into a walkie talkie
• Any time J. says "Personal Experiences"
• Any time J. exclaims something along the lines of "Holy Crap!" or "What the Frig was that!!!???"
  
• Any time any member of the TAPS team uses any form of the verb "To Investigate"

Remember on "Frasier" when Frasier and his Dad created an "Antiques Roadshow" drinking game. The only rule I remember is that they drank when anyone said "finial." I thought that episode was hilarious.

I think our Ghost Hunters drinking game is hilarious too.

And just as a side note, the baby came up to me today while I was sitting in a chair. She opened her mouth and spat a little wet brown something into her hand. Then she put it on my tummy. It was a kibble of cat food.

At least she didn't eat it.