The Thrid and Final Installment of my Viral Campaign to Get Doc Hubby to Be the Onset Doctor at the Daily Show

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Cameron Diaz
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Really, Daily Show?  Really really?

Cameron Diaz. Nice girl and all, but really?

Rubbing alcohol.  Tweezers and Craft Scissors?????
Really really?

In case you missed it, Cameron Diaz, beloved star of There's Something About Mary just kind of removed stitches from the inner aspect of Jon Stewarts WRIST!  Jon Stewart, host of "The Daily Show".  I'd venture to guess Comedy Central's most valuable asset.  But I don't know that assertion would stand up to PolitiFact.

Please tell me you had a doctor on set when Cameron Diaz started cutting tiny threads on the underside of Jon Stewart's wrist with a pair of blunt scissors.   Maybe just watching on the monitor in the Green Room?

Doc Hubby is a former physician for the New York Yankees.  You wanna tell me, Comedy Central, that Jon Stewart is any less valuable to you than Derek Jeter is to the Yankees??  You wanna tell me that the Yankees would let Cameron Diaz near Derek Jeter with craft scissors and a tweezerman?

OK maybe don't mention that whole Yankees thing to Jon Stewart himself.  Doc Hubby only did that for one season anyway. On second thought, don't hold that against him. He got the hell out of that den of snakes before they started handing out World Series Rings.

Please, Comedy Central.  Not for me.  Not for Doc Hubby.  But for the Alumni Association of William and Mary.  For fans of "Death to Smoochy." For Liberia. Call Doc Hubby and get his ass on your set.

Part 2 of My Viral Attempt to Get Doc Hubby to Be the On Set Doctor at the Daily Show

So...apparently Jon Stewart went to Mt. Sinai to have his wrist stitched up.  All well and good.  It's a fine hospital, Mr. Stewart.

But perhaps you haven't heard that "AMAZING" things are happening at New York Presbyterian hospital, where Doc Hubby is employed and has been for nearly 20 years?  So yeah, Mt. Sinai is all well and good for stitching up that wrist wound (and sorry to hear about the kid who needed a new face but yeah, kids are resilient), but you're gonna want the guy from the "AMAZING" place right there for the next elderly member of a former presidential administration who has a heart attack or hemorrhoid on set...or god forbid the moment you go into anaplyactic shock after inhaling whatever it is that makes Donald Trump's hair defy all the laws of physics.  First Aid, Mr. Stewart.  First response.

Doc Hubby remains available.

Call me.

My Viral Campaign to Get Doc Hubby Appointed On-Set Doc at The Daily Show

Here's what you people at Comedy Central should know.

Doc Hubby is a rock star. In medical school he was a Gross Anatomy savant. He is regularly made privy to butt lesions by distant cousins and he does not faint. And he wins conferences all the time. Didn't know you could win an academic medical conference? You totally can.

During the taping of the show yesterday, Jon Stewart received a near mortal wound to the wrist during a Weiner sketch involving a blender, a margarita glass and a podium. Based on the fact that a producer handed Stewart a towel, like, ten minutes after he cut himself (and only after Stewart showed America the blood that was streaming down his arm and pooling in his cuff), I'd venture a guess you have no on-set doctor. Let's be frank. Comedy is dangerous. Jon Stewart is comedy. I'm guessing that Walker Texas Ranger had an on-site physician. You need one too.

Not to mention insurance.

And the fact that Doc Hubby will laugh at Jon Stewart's jokes but still maintain a steady hand as he bandages his wounds.

Call me, Comedy Central.  I think we can work something out.