Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Look What My Kid Did With Her Tub Crayons Post

I swear this was not my idea. I am a mere observer.
With toes like these? Smarty Pants Preschool here we come.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Things I Could Blog About

  • Food blog: I made Coq Au Vin for the first time last night. The Barefoot Contessa's recipe. My friend Rebecca made this for us once last year and she pulled the chicken off the bone before serving it and served it over egg noodles so I did too. I felt so Julie and Julia. Except I didn't use Julia Child's recipe. And my name is Wendy.
  • Mommy Blog: The Bean is sick. Third week of preschool. Only four other kids in her class. She cannot live in a vat of child-safe Purell....right? This will happen. This must needs happen. As must her first stomach bug. At which point I seriously fear instead of standing there and holding her forehead while she barfs into her princess potty, I will run the other way, trying desperately to stifle my own gag reflex. I often fear I am not cut out for this.
  • Actress Blog: What is it with the callback? I feel like I'm some kind of callback jinx. To be honest, I can't give you any details about the callback I went on today because I totally honestly had to sign a confidentiality agreement before I did the first audition. I am not joking. This has happened a few times in the past when I was auditioning to hock new products. One of them was that bagel stick thing that came with the cream cheese stuffed inside it. Bagelfuls or something. A complete breakfast in a cellophane wrap. I guess that was a pretty good idea. Has anyone tried one? So I went to the callback for the aforementioned secret thingy. The format was improv. No scripted lines. The first audition was just me and a camera and I felt all free and hilarious and said funny stuff about jello salad. So today I had new funny ideas about jello salad that I was all ready to say when they asked me (no the product is so totally not jello salad or jello in any form). And there were four of us called in at once into a room full of auditore--like twelve--most of whom were staring at computers. They were all sitting around a table, and we had to improvise together. And I got nervous and said the same old stuff about orange jello salad I said the first time instead of the new funnier stuff about green jello salad I thought up last night. And then I couldn't think of anything to say and I just kind of laughed nervously and the man in the suit running things had to prompt all of us and that so isn't a good sign I don't think. But honestly, the guy playing my husband was so funny and believable that when the audition started and the woman asked him a question to prompt him I totally thought it was real and that things just got super awkward in the room. I was fakey and kitchy and stupid. Still I hope they really liked the guy playing my husband because he was so tall that no one else could be his wife except me the Amazonian actress. Did I mention that I used to be in a Broadway play.
    When Allison Janney was first trying to get work, some casting director or agent notoriously said to her, "I don't know what to do with you...lesbians or aliens maybe?" Or wives of very very tall men.
  • Mommy Blog meets Actress Blog: So this is too good. Just as I was finishing that last sentence, I got a call from the Smarty Pants Preschool where we are applying for next year. (I love saying "where we are applying"--it's so totally snooty and obnoxious that I kind of get off on it). We're in the midst of preschool applications for next year and this is New York so it is, of course, insane. Where I grew up you "register" for preschool. Here, you "apply." So stupid. The Bean had a playgroup session for the Smarty Pants school today, and her Daddy had to take her because Mama was at the above discussed total waste of time callback. So the Smarty Pants Preschool just called. The Bean has a callback. Another playdate next week. If I mention our trip to Starbucks for Vanilla Bean scones on the way home, then this post becomes a triple Food/Mommy/Actress post.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Conan O'Brien Just Said...

To the young people: Please don't be cynical.

"If you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

I so want that to be true.

Course 33 million dollars makes it easy to be generous.

Oh wait...cynicism.

I still really want that to be true.