Monday, May 10, 2010

The April Fools Day 1989 Popcorn Incident

So Aunt Becky of the very funny blog Mommy Wants Vodka, wrote a post recently about a photo album she found in the bottom of a box of old crap her mother gave her. It was full of pictures that, until the lost album was found, she believed were gone. Hard copies of pictures, young people. The kind that once lost, or torn, or used as coasters, are truly lost to the world forever. Unless you take something called a negative to a photo shop and pay actual money to have it developed again. Pictures, she confided, that were full of her and her friends doing weird and crazy stuff when they were young.

I read the post. It struck a chord. I left her the following comment:
So this one time during sophomore year, my roommates and I popped 13 pounds of popcorn. This was before microwave popcorn. BMP. And then during the middle of the night we taped newspaper across the door of the sticks-up-their-asses prep school boys from Rhode Island who lived across the hall, leaving a small space between the newspaper and their door. A space that we filled with 13 pounds of popped popcorn. We took a lot of pictures of that.
To which she replied:
Please tell me you can scan these pictures for me to see. Because I NEED THIS. HILARIOUS!
And I so love getting replies from truly funny bloggers who I want to be friends with, that I did it. I scanned the photos from "The April Fools Day 1989 Popcorn Incident" and I will, without the consent of my roommate Jennifer or the sticks-up-their-asses prep school boys from Rhode Island (who really were good friends despite the fact that one of them called my roommate a Pinko Civil Libertarian. At the time I had no idea what that meant. Now I realize what a huge compliment it was).

So here they are. If I were The Bloggess I could do funny arrows and comments but my photo editing capabilities are way way less advanced than most elementary school children so I will just have to editorialize below.
This is me and Jennifer in our room after popping 13 pounds of popcorn that we got at Stop and Shop. We used two air poppers. One of them literally went up in smoke somewhere in the midst of the popping marathon. We switched to a second one that went on to serve us well for many years. In this photo we still have our contact lenses in. The sign behind me does indeed say "Wombat Crossing." A clue as to just how cool I was in college and maybe why I never had a date for Casino Night.

Okay so here we are taping "The Boston Globe" to Rod, Tod and Jonathan's door. No joke. Those are their names. Nice guys. Very rich. At least one is a foreign diplomat. One is a fancy pants corporate lawyer. Not sure about the other.

Dumping in the popcorn. Dang. Look how skinny I was.

More popcorn. Middle of the night. Nice glasses.

Took my glasses off for the final picture. They are in my hand behind my back.

So what happened? The next morning, when Rod, Tod and Jonathan opened the door, a wall of popcorn collapsed upon them. It worked like a charm. They thought it was hilarious! We were awakened by them laughing and bringing bagels to our room. We are all friends now and spend weekends in the Hamptons....

I lie. My mechanical engineer father would be appalled. Our newspaper structure did not prove strong enough to hold the weight of 13 pounds of popped popcorn. The bottom ripped out. Rod, Tod and Jonathan opened their door to discover their door obscured by The Boston Globe, and right behind it, a mountain of popcorn. They were not amused. I seem to recall Rod chasing us back into our bedroom and dumping a way smaller bag of dirty popcorn in one of our beds. Rather violently.

While she perused her old photo album, Aunt Becky marveled at how fun her life used to be. Although I think she had a lot crazier youth than I did (honestly, the popcorn was about as illicit as my exploits got), we do have that in common. When I flip through page after page of grainy photos, unable now to remember what exactly was so hilarious about pretty much everything we did that I felt it required to be documented, I am struck by how funny every day was. How intensely I felt...EVERYTHING. How hard I laughed. How much junk food I ate. How skinny I remained.

I'll tell you the saddest thing. I now know that the newspaper needs to be really strong. That duct tape would work much better than masking tape. That you need to reinforce it a lot. But I will never have the opportunity to try that joke out again. I don't think so, anyway. I'm pretty sure the Elusive Icelander next door would not be amused. Plus he signed up for extermination this month so he'd probably take a pile of popcorn lying at his feet even worse than the prep school boys.

So someone out there. In college. Maybe with only a week or so left. Would you please oh please try this. Take lots of pictures. Reinforce the newspaper really well. And tell me how it works? Thanks.

1 comment:

Momma Lioness Michele said...

Hilarious! I didn't go away to college so I missed events like this. Love the photo proof - wish there was one of the popcorn falling in on the guys, but you & your roomie were probably passed out from the popcorn all-nighter you had just pulled to actually watch it happen. Looks like you two had a great time, even if the newspaper didn't hold up. Thanks for sharing this fun memory! :)